Fire In The Rain
by Ishuzu
Summary: A Seto/Ishuzu fic. For those of you who aren't God-foresaken dubbies, like me, Ishuzu Isis. To let ye know. Ishuzu and Seto are together, but does it mean something? *CH 5 UP*
1. Simple And Clean

Me: Hello, other Yu-Gi-Oh! fanatics! Another hopeless fic from Ishuzu!  
  
Seto: Uh...... shouldn't you be working on "A Very Yu-Gi-Oh! Christmas"?  
  
Me: Huh? *Erm...* Yeah......  
  
Seto: And you're instead gallivanting around, writing new fics, and eating doughnut holes! For shame!  
  
Me: *sigh* Alright, I'll try to work on the Christmas one today...... But first, here's this...... And remember I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! But if I did, I would write twisted episodes of it, so that it was too explicit for it to be on WB. And I don't own Seto Kaiba. But if I did, I would keep him on a leash (concept from K-Chan) and show him off to my friends. And I'm also not Ishuzu. But if I were, I would eat ice cream all the time and not get fat, and take Kaiba around on a leash.  
  
Seto: I think they get the point.  
  
  
  
Simple And Clean  
  
I walked tentatively, and sighed softly, using my back to push the door closed, smiling as I listened to the soft click it made. The simple and innocent grin stayed painted onto my face like a watercolor painting. My lips, curved upward, were not my own, but drawn on with the softest brush, and the most supple paints. He had painted it there.  
  
When he had walked out the door, I had wanted to call after him, pull him back into my arms, feel his warm breath against my neck as I tightened my embrace. But I hadn't. I hadn't reached out and taken his hand. I was too afraid to open that door.  
  
//When you walk away you don't hear me say,  
  
"Please, oh baby...Don't go.//  
  
I stepped onto the soft, white rug, and looked around the lavish room. It was so pure, the room, shinning like a crystal. I blinked and stared at the opal room, hardly believing the beauty of this place, hardly believing that it was a bathroom.  
  
I kneeled before the great bathtub, shimmering like a pearl, white as the rug and floor. A smile finding its way to my lips once again, I turned the crystal knob beside me and soft, shimmering waterfalls began to fill the tub. I reached out, and held my fingers under the spray. Warm and inviting, the perfect temperature. I picked up a bar of soap and held it between my fingers, staring at the soft pearly surface, musing affectionately about how the soap matched the room. That was just like him, to think of something like soap matching the walls. I smiled and let the soap slip through my fingers, and fall into the thick, crystal-like water. It made me feel so elegant, as I shed the business shirt I was wearing (his) and the pair of jeans (my own).  
  
//Simple and clean is the way that you're makin' me feel tonight  
  
It's hard to let it go//  
  
A slow moan fell from my lips as I sunk into the warm embrace of the tub. As the water fell from the faucet and covered my body, I began to think of the night before. I had never experienced such a love. Everything had been perfect. Soft candles, burning intensely about the large bedroom. A giant, luxurious bed, soft pillows cascading down either side. The warm scent of red wine coming from a bottle chilling at the bedside. And him. Of course. He had made everything perfect. Done it all for me. I was overwhelmed and swept off my feet.  
  
//You're giving me too many things lately, you're all I need//  
  
He had known exactly where to touch me, where his lips should press against my neck and how hard, how slowly he should proceed to laying me gently across the bed. I still cannot comprehend his expertise. It made me feel both suspicious and sensual.  
  
The next morning, it was very much the same as always, though. I woke, my eyes heavy with sleep, when I saw that he was no longer lying beside me. What had I expected, anyway?  
  
He had been in the kitchen, the Wall Street Journal resting in his strong hands, a piece of dry toast, untouched, and a cup of coffee serving as breakfast. I had walked slowly down the stairs, almost afraid to approach him when he was dressed and awake. I stepped into the dining room, and sat down in a chair next to him. He had acknowledged that I was sitting beside him but did not kiss me nor make any eye contact. After he finished his coffee, he stood. I opened my mouth, wanting to ask him about last night. Had it just been a fluke? Did he want me to leave? Was he going to say anything at all, damnit?  
  
He turned on his heal, finally looking at me with those piecing blue eyes, making me feel both love-struck and frightened. He spoke quickly and quite curtly to someone who had just spent the last night in his arms. Checking his watch, he hurriedly told me that I was to stay in the house (more of a demand than a statement of permission) and that he wanted to see me after he got back from work. He bowed his head in my direction, and breezed out the door, his long coat flowing behind him. I sat, staring after him, wondering what my mother would say if I ever tried to bring him home for dinner. Realizing with slow, humorous satisfaction, I became conscious of the fact that he would not want to eat dinner with my parents anytime soon.  
  
//You smiled at me and said,  
  
Don't get me wrong, I love you  
  
But does that mean I have to meet your father?  
  
When we are older you'll understand what I meant when I said 'No.'  
  
I don't think life is quite that simple.//  
  
Coming up for air, I saw that the tub was filling rapidly and tired of my bath. I turned the crystal knobs again and watched as the stream subsided and finally fizzled out. I let the water out of the tub, and stepped onto the soft, white rug. I blinked and touched a long white bathrobe that hung in front of me tentatively before wrapping it around me.  
  
I opened the bathroom door, and walked across the hall to the bedroom to survey the aftermath. Candles burned down to the end of their wicks, small strings of smoke wavering as they traveled to the ceiling. An empty bottle of red wine sat dutifully at the edge of the nightstand. Two glasses next to it; stained a soft crimson yet shining brilliantly in the flicker of the dying candles. Sheets and a warm comforter disheveled, showing the presence of two bodies cuddled together the night before. I smiled. A night to remember. The most magical of my life, indeed.  
  
I thought about him again as I sat on the edge of the bed. And, still, I remembered how I had wanted to pull him back into my arms. But even after this realization, I knew I couldn't have even if I had tried.  
  
//When you walk away you don't hear me say,  
  
"Please, oh baby...Don't go."  
  
Simple and clean is the way that you're makin' me feel tonight  
  
It's hard to let it go//  
  
I fell softly onto the bed. It was so inviting. The urge came upon me to burrow into the soft, warm covers and close my eyes, shutting out the world until I was back in his arms, until he was with me. Until he was with me.  
  
Aren't you supposed to be at work?  
  
"What?" My mind raced. Someone was speaking to me.  
  
Work, remember? You have a job. Isn't that what you get paid for?  
  
I blinked softly. That little voice in the back of my head, the nagging one, it wanted me to work.  
  
"Work? I don't want to work!"  
  
Well, its not like you have a choice. Work is work.  
  
"Work?"  
  
//The daily things that keep us all busy are confusing me//  
  
Yes! Work! The voice was becoming irritated. You should be working! And instead you're lying here, in bed, trying to hold onto memories. Get up!  
  
"No," I grinned, defying the nagging voice, "No." I rolled over, blotting out the sensible part of my brain. Everything was spinning. I let my mind rewind the events of "last night", going farther back to when he had first taken me back to his house. We had walked up to his door when I realized that we weren't at my house. He had smiled and led me through the front doors into the lavish parlor. I turned and put my hand flat against his shoulder.  
  
"Seto. I don't know about this."  
  
"Why?" he removed my hand from where I had so carefully placed it, and held it in his own. I suddenly felt detached from that limb, like it belonged to him now, "We have known each other long enough! What do I have to do to prove that I care about you? Must I tell you I love you? Don't know already know? What do you need, Ishuzu?"  
  
//That's when you came to me and said,  
  
"Wish I could prove I love you  
  
But does that mean I have to walk on water?//  
  
I had contemplated this for a moment. Then I looked upward and locked my eyes with his, "Yes. Tell me you love me."  
  
//When we are older you'll understand it's enough when I say so.  
  
And maybe some things are that simple.//  
  
I had always expected commitment to be difficult for the great Seto Kaiba, I mean, its obvious, right? But he took much longer to answer than I had anticipated.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
I paused, listening to those words. They did not sit right with me for some reason, leaving a bad taste in my mouth. I continued to stare at him, hoping he'd say more. But he smiled, and wrapped an arm around my waist, leading me up the stairs.  
  
"Why not?" The words were so simple. Was love that simple? It should be, right? Maybe that was the best answer at a time like this. I looked up at him again when we reached the top of the stairs. When the door to his bedroom swung open, I was overwhelmed. I scanned the room, and was soon led over to the bed where there were two glasses of red wine on the table beside it, the bottle chilling next to them. He picked up the glasses and handed one to me.  
  
"Isn't champagne more customary?" I teased, "Isn't that what the usual suitor does?"  
  
He took a sip of the wine, his icy-lightning eyes blazing like a blue fire over the top of the glass.  
  
"Well, my dear, I'm not the usual suitor." He put down the wine, and cupped his hand below my cheek. His touch was pure ecstasy, making me forget nearly everything and remembering only him. And when he pressed his lips to mine, something new inside me was born.  
  
//When you walk away you don't hear me say,  
  
"Please, oh baby...Don't go."  
  
Simple and clean is the way that you're makin' me feel tonight  
  
It's hard to let it go//  
  
I rolled over on the bed, coming back to the present time. I still couldn't believe I wasn't dreaming. Opening my eyes, I reached toward the pillows and burrowed into the soft covers. This is how I would stay. Until he returned.  
  
//Hold me  
  
Whatever lies beyond this morning is a little later on  
  
Regardless of warnings, the future doesn't scare me at all  
  
Nothing's like before//  
  
Maybe I should have gone after him, I didn't know. But things would defiantly change tonight. I would be the one to surprise him. My lips curled into a grin again, thinking about what would happen when he got home.  
  
//When you walk away you don't hear me say,  
  
"Please, oh baby...Don't go."  
  
Simple and clean is the way that you're makin' me feel tonight  
  
It's hard to let it go//  
  
He would come through the door, tired and hungry, a smirking servant taking his coat gingerly. The servant, of course, would know what was in store for him. She would bow to him, and exit quickly, for fear she may give away the surprise.  
  
//Hold me  
  
Whatever lies beyond this morning is a little later on//  
  
Rubbing his eyes, he would stumble into the dining room. He would blink harshly, and then catch sight of the dinner and of me. I would be standing at the edge of the table, next to the food I had prepared, and just smile softly, the words normal yet sensual as they tumbled from my lips,  
  
"Welcome home."  
  
//Regardless of warnings, the future doesn't scare me at all  
  
Nothing's like before //  
  
And he would wrap his arms around me, and hold me and kiss me. And when I would close my eyes and rest my head on his shoulder, he would lean down, and whisper into my hair,  
  
"I love you."  
  
//Hold me  
  
Whatever lies beyond this morning is a little later on//  
  
I closed my eyes then, letting my head fall heavy on the silken pillows. I was drifting, slowly, away from the world, when I heard a voice in my ear, and words I knew too well.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
I frowned, pushing these thoughts aside. I didn't want everything to come crashing down just because of two little words. I would be hearing the three I anticipated soon enough.  
  
//Regardless of warnings, the future doesn't scare me at all//  
  
I finally felt sleep, heavy in its warm embrace come upon me. I smiled, knowing that now, everything would be different.  
  
//Nothing's like before//  
  
  
  
  
  
Me: *falls back into chair* THANK GOD! I thought I would NEVER finish that fic!  
  
Seto: *grin* I... LIKED it! *GRIN, GRIN, GRIN!"  
  
Me: *mumbles* Yeah, I BET you did......Man, all I WRITE about is you! What's up with that?  
  
Seto: *shrug* I'm your muse! *strikes a pose*  
  
Me: Why are you acting like such a lunatic?  
  
Seto: Your good mood is contagious!  
  
Me: *smile* Oh, alright, fine.  
  
Seto: Please read and review! She does tend to like reviews!  
  
Me: Oh, do I ever! Please review!  
  
Seto: *strikes another pose*  
  
Me: *sits down with popcorn and applauds like a Sim! ^^* 


	2. Fire Walk With Me

Me: Hi. It may be a little early for a second chapter but that's never stopped me before, right?  
  
Seto: The people who read Yu-Gi-Oh! Christmas are gonna kill you! Chapter seven is just waiting to be written, and you're here, writing some dumb love story! If you're lucky, you'll finish it before EASTER!  
  
Me: This chapter is in Seto's point of view.  
  
Seto: Ooo! Cool! Can I have a private jet? And a French accent?  
  
Me: You've already got a helicopter!....... And why the hell would you want a French accent?  
  
Seto: Hmm......... I suppose you're right. How about British then? *grins* 'Ello, Love! 'Ow about a smooch?  
  
Me: *shake head* That's more cockney.........  
  
Seto: *shrug* I was going for Spike on Buffy. *grins again*  
  
Me: *pats his cheek* You're so cute. Too bad you're acting like a complete moron.  
  
Seto: *shrug*  
  
Me: Stop doing that!  
  
Seto: *grin*  
  
Me: *seething*  
  
Seto: *pats me on head cause I'm so FREAKIN' SHORT*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Fire, Walk With Me  
  
I had a dream last night. Nothing out of the ordinary, except that I don't dream a lot. I mostly just sleep deeply because I come back from the office completely drained and exhausted. And yet, somehow, after waking up early, going to work, having three business meetings, and coming home to Ishuzu, I dreamed.  
  
I was somewhere cold, for I could see my breath coming out in soft, clouds.  
  
*Author's Note: Okay, I don't usually do this (Author's Notes, I mean), but Ori! I realized the whole cold thing after I wrote it. I wasn't trying to copy the picture or anything but I thought it was weird that I didn't notice. Alright, now, you can all go back to reading my little fic. Sorry to bother you.*  
  
I was standing on a street, completely empty and void of any other life, so I thought. The sky was a raven black. Absentmindedly, I mused at the soft, dark color. The color of her hair. Not that I was dreaming about her hair, or that I thought about her all that often. But one thing I found most tantalizing and sensual about her was the long, cascading, ebony wave of hair that fell to her shoulders. This, I had noticed from the first day we had met.  
  
I had stared at the sky for quite some time, and then turned to go. In the dream, I was walking to wherever I meant to be without a thought, but, when I woke, as I tried to look back on it, I could not recall where I was going. But I remember the cold.  
  
It was intense, hitting me in icy swirls, sending shivers down my back. Closing my eyes, I attempted to continue walking, against the biting wind. I could feel my eyelashes caked in ice, and my hair littered with snowflakes. But I continued on.  
  
Soon, it became harder to move, harder to walk. I let my pace slow, until I was barely moving at all. The wind was stopping me from moving on. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I heard myself think  
  
"There is only so much ice a man can take. Only so much cold."  
  
When I woke, I thought back on that quote, seeing it only as truth to the situation. If you get too cold, you will freeze. But in the dream, it seemed to make more sense. It was supposed to mean more. I know this because I remember smiling when I heard it. The corners of my lips were pulled up into a grin, and I let my back hit the wall of the building beside me. I slowly slid down the wall, onto my knees, and finally down so that I was lying on the sidewalk. It became clear to me that I was going to die. At that moment, with this realization, the snow ceased, and it began to rain.  
  
I still knew that I wasn't going to live, even if rain meant the temperature had increased greatly because the rain was even more painful than the snow. Snow flakes had been cold, but soft, for a reason I will never understand. They patted my cheeks, covered my hair, and otherwise froze me, but caused me no pain. But the rain. The rain was like a thousand, jagged ice crystals, hitting me all over my body. They sent shivers up and down my spine and left me so paralyzed, I could not even blink.  
  
I expected death. I welcomed it. I was not afraid. But then, I felt a warm presence, rekindling a flame within me, causing me to lift my head and stare.  
  
It was a person, someone made of fire. It had curves like a woman, and I could find the slightest impression of eyes and a mischievous grin. She reached down to me, placing the heat of her palm on my cheek. I smiled, leaning into the embrace, and attempted to find her eyes.  
  
I found her staring straight at me, and when our eyes locked, I could see her lips take form. She leaned down, lifting my head gently, and kissed me, her hair, a red flame, curling around my shoulders. I closed my eyes, succumbing to the intensity, as my lips burned. This kiss warmed me better than any cup of steaming hot chocolate ever would. And when I opened my eyes, hoping to hear her speak to me, I was once again lying in bed, an icy wave of confusion falling upon me like the stinging rain.  
  
I must have stirred because Ishuzu blinked softly and opened her enigmatic green eyes. She sat up and breathed softly, still trying to let those eyes adjust to the darkness.  
  
"Seto?"  
  
I shook my head and turned to stare at her. The dark blue sheets covered her delicate frame. She had been sleeping soundly, in another of my collared shirts, and her hair was disheveled. But she still looked as mysterious and beautiful as ever. I reached out and brushed my hand against her cheek. She leaned into the embrace and opened her eyes to stare at me.  
  
"I feel like a cat." She gestured toward my hand on her face. I grinned, and brushed it across her cheek, as if I was stroking her. She purred. We both laughed, and she rested her head on my chest. I lay back, and snaked an arm around her shoulders.  
  
"What were you dreaming about?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"You were dreaming. What about?"  
  
I paused. "I do not dream."  
  
She shrugged innocently, and closed her eyes, "You were shivering. I assumed you were dreaming."  
  
"I do not dream," I stated again.  
  
"Alright, Seto," she closed her eyes, and began to drift back to sleep. I stayed up, thinking, and listening to the steady beat of her heart against mine.  
  
After a few minutes, I looked down at her, sleeping soundly and angelically. When she slept, it was almost impossible to tell how playfully devious she really was. I smiled, almost forgetting myself.  
  
When I had come home that night, she had been in the dining room, with a meal she had cooked herself. I watched her flawless face light up with a grin, and she spoke softly, her speech breathy,  
  
"Welcome home."  
  
I smiled, and crossed the room. I put my arms around her, rocked her softly back and forth, kissed her neck, and whispered,  
  
"I didn't know you could cook."  
  
She pulled back, looking almost disappointed.  
  
"M-my mother taught me."  
  
I grinned and buried my face in her hair,  
  
"That's cute."  
  
She smiled a little, and tried to break our embrace. Once I was less preoccupied, and had surveyed the dinner, she spoke,  
  
"Lets eat."  
  
I knew what she had wanted from all of this, of course. She was wondering what she could do to show me that she could be helpful around the mansion. Of course, this wasn't something I worried about. After all, I had asked her to stay. Why she felt like she had to justify her worth, I did not know. I have servants to do things like this. Her only job was to be what I came home to, and what I was able to pamper and spoil when I pleased. I had hoped she had known this.  
  
But she did not need to worry about her worth in the mansion. Just having her around was enough.  
  
I reached down and ran my fingers over her left arm, tanned from the Egyptian sun. She stirred and turned her head. I smiled again. It was wonderful to have someone like her. Beautiful, delicate, soft, poised. And yet, at the same time, unpredictable and mysterious. She was someone to come home to.  
  
I curled my arm around her again, and closed my eyes. The room was getting darker, so it seemed, and sleep came heavily upon me. I listened to the dull silence, and, just before I drifted off, I thought of the woman made of fire.  
  
What did it mean?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Me: Okay, I didn't like that chapter as well as the first, but you get what you settle for.  
  
Seto: *frowns* I really don't get much of what was going on...  
  
Me: Well, you're just saying that she's there, and you enjoy her, but you don't love her. At least.... you don't think you do. But you could be wrong my friend! So horribly wrong......  
  
Seto: Uh... huh.  
  
Me: Uhm, I know that this chapter didn't make all that much sense, and wasn't very long, and didn't really explain how Seto feels about everything, but, trust me. It will get better. *I hope*  
  
Seto: Lets see some more chapters with her being hopelessly in love with me. *grin*  
  
Me: Stay tuned for chapter three!  
  
Seto: And when do I get my accent?  
  
Me: *sigh* 


	3. Whispering of my Fingers

Me: Heh. Time for a new chapter! I know I've been slacking a lot lately, but when I finished the Christmas Carol one, I just about collapsed. That and uhm... I'm considering getting a new muse.  
  
Seto: WHAT?!?!  
  
Me: Uh... Oh... *exasperated* I knew this would happen!  
  
Seto: YOU DON'T WANT ME TO BE YOUR MUSE ANYMORE?!?!?  
  
Me: Uhm... Well...  
  
Seto: So you're saying you don't love me anymore, is that it?  
  
Me: NO! No, I still love you!  
  
Seto: Then... who else would you want as your muse?  
  
Me: Erm... Yami?  
  
Seto: YAMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Me: *cowers*  
  
Seto: WHY?!?!  
  
Me: *shrug*  
  
Seto: I'll tell you what; you write this chapter and see if you haven't fallen back in love with me like that! *snaps fingers*  
  
Me: Uhm... okay... Onto chapter three!  
  
Seto: *grumbles, then louder* YAMI??!?!?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
I wandered aimlessly down the stairs. Three days had past since I had first set foot here. Three days since I had completely succumbed to him. Three days since I had heard him say it. And yet I still felt it fresh in my mind.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
I reached the bottom of the long staircase, and sat down on the bottom step. Closing my eyes, I leaned against the railing and sat in silence. It had become aware to me that morning, that in three days, I had not gone to work, had not seen my family, had not left the mansion. Three days since I had stopped living my life.  
  
That's when I heard it. A few rooms away, someone was playing the piano. I stood and held my head, trying to clear it. Was someone else in the house? Granted, the servants were there, but none of them would sit down to play the grand piano, especially with such talent and poise. I began to walk, as much as I had wanted to stay on that step, and entered the room.  
  
Of course! It was Sunday. He was home. His back was turned to me, but one could still recognize his extreme and intense concentration. His shoulders were set squarely and his head was held high, his eyes not even on the notes in front of him. Inwardly, I mused at his coat, flowing behind him over the back of the seat. Today, it was black, the raven color matching the equally dark piano. His long fingers were moving expertly over the keys, stroking them gently as if to get the absolute perfect sound. Seto Kaiba and perfection were words that fit so well together.  
  
When I had gotten close enough, I could see that his eyes were closed, and his face was set stonily. I stared and felt a small smile creep across my lips. Just being able to watch him was purely nirvana.  
  
The piece got stronger and more emotional as he continued. His fingers no longer slid across the keys, but crashed down on them, like an angry ocean on the jetties. He began to move his head back and forth to the music, and finally tipped it back as the piece reached its climax. The music flowed through the mansion, loud, strong, passionate. I leaned against the wall, and closed my eyes, feeling the intensity. After he leaned forward again, I saw a small lock of his dark hair fall in front of his eyes, and immediately grinned at how amazingly sexy it was.  
  
To my dismay, the piece ended, and the song was over. He opened his eyes, his electric blue eyes, and stared down at the keys, that same lock of hair blending with them. Breathing heavily from the completely draining piece, he blinked and turned away from the ivory keys. He almost jumped when he saw me standing there, but, of course, he was too collected to ever be surprised by anything.  
  
"Good morning," his teeth flashed an amazingly white smile.  
  
"Good morning," I stepped toward him, "Would you like something for breakfast?"  
  
"Coffee? Eggs? Toast? Or... you?" he grinned and pulled me down onto the chair next to him, "Mmm... I'd defiantly choose you."  
  
I smiled, "You flatter me."  
  
"Perhaps..." he took my hand and stared at it, like he had when I had first come there. His eyes moved from my fingers to the piano keys to locking with mine, "Do you play?"  
  
"A little."  
  
He smiled and turned my body so that I was facing the piano. He began to brush back the lock of his coffee hair, so that it disappeared back with the rest, but I stopped him, putting my hand on his,  
  
"Don't. Leave it there." Slowly, his lips spread into an almost-smile. With that cocky grin replacing his surprise, he placed his hands over mine and began to press gently on the keys. I recognized the tune quickly and our fingers moved across the piano with complete expertise.  
  
After a while, his hands moved off of mine, and wrapped around my shoulders. His head tilted and he moved my hair so that it cupped around my shoulder and across my chest. Shortly thereafter, his lips, hot and soft, touched my neck as I continued to play. He whispered something into my hair, and I felt my lips spread into a grin. I stared at the notes, not really using them, and listened to the words Seto whispered in my ear, and the beating of my own heart, and the whispering of my fingers across the ivory keys.  
  
  
  
Me: hee  
  
Seto: Sooooooooooo...  
  
Me: *like Cameron in Ferris Bueller's Day Off* Seto Kaiba, you're my hero  
  
Seto: Damn straight.  
  
Me: heh. Okay I'll keep you around... At least for this story  
  
Seto: What?  
  
Me: Hee hee! *glomp* 


	4. Nobody Home

Me: *grins a mile wide* Hullo, hullo!!!  
  
Seto: Someone's in a good mood... *mumbles* for once  
  
Me: I would normally be very pissed off at that comment *even though its true* but I'm in a good mood right now, and you're not gonna spoil it!  
  
Seto: *drat*  
  
Me: *grin returns* Anyway, I really wanted to update this story, so I decided to try! Anyway, I probably shouldn't have started on it, as it will probably dampen my mood, but oh well, I'm stupid like that!  
  
Seto: God, you are just going off on SO many tangents today, aren't cha?  
  
Me: *gringringrin*  
  
Seto: Not like you really mind, huh?  
  
Me: *huggles the air out of him*  
  
Seto: *gack!* *manages to get enough air to say* What about Yami...  
  
Me: Oh yeah... Well, I guess we'll be seeing him around.  
  
Seto: *glares* Why can't I just be your muse?  
  
Me: *smiles* I like to watch the two of you butt heads... plus, he's got the tie! ^^  
  
Seto: *materialistic*  
  
Me: Fascist!  
  
Seto: O.O  
  
Me: Heh... *glomp* Enjoy the show!  
Nobody Home  
I closed my eyes and ran my fingers through my tawny hair. What was it that she had called it? Foxy...cinnamon. Hell, I didn't know. But I wished I did. For a few minutes, I wanted nothing more than to ask her what she liked to call the color of my hair again. To see her smile and run her long fingers through it, and whisper it in my ear. But I couldn't have that anymore. I'd given it up.  
  
I stood and walked across the bedroom that we used to share. Now, it was mine alone again. C'est la vie. I sat on the bed and looked down at something that was jabbing me in the leg. It was a small, black book. I guessed that she had forgotten something and picked it up. The pages were blank but her name was written inside. I thought of taking it to the library, thought of sitting down and writing how I felt, thought of trying to tell her by writing it in her little book, like in a poem or something. And then I laughed. No, I was Seto Kaiba. That wasn't going to happen.  
  
//I got a little black book with my poems in//  
  
I remembered how I had watched her go. She had spoken so clearly gone upstairs, packed her things, and left. She had been in such a hurry, she had left some things. The bathroom had a few of her things in it as well. I left them there, couldn't bring myself to throw them out, or even touch them.  
  
//Got a bag, got a toothbrush and a comb in//  
  
Mostly, I just stood downstairs, drowning in a tidal wave of confusion. When she descended the stairs, I just stared.  
  
She shrugged, "I guess this is goodbye."  
  
"Yeah," I said quietly, my muscles tensing.  
  
"Then, goodbye, Seto." I wished she hadn't said my name the way she did. It was such a sad way for her to speak to me. It gave me the impression that she wished she had never met me. She stood on her toes, and kissed me on the cheek, but obviously not feeling it. I didn't have the courage to turn and catch her lips anyway. But the kiss was my last consolation.  
  
//When I'm a good dog they sometimes throw me a bone in//  
  
She walked away, then, her ebony hair swishing softly behind her. That was last time I had seen her in three weeks.  
Mostly I had just stayed in the mansion, only leaving to go to work. But I took a lot of sick days. And I deserved them. Something wasn't right with me. And every time I thought about her, it made me sick. Sometimes, I felt like I was only holding on by a thread. And the pills I had started taking weren't helping either. They could only give me a momentary high. Even I knew that I was pretty screwed up.  
  
//I got elastic bands keeping my shoes on Got those swollen hand blues//  
  
I couldn't watch T.V. either. I had put my foot through it a few days before. There was only a small one in the kitchen but it didn't have cable, so I didn't bother with it.  
  
//Got thirteen channels of shit on the TV to choose from//  
  
I felt so primitive because I did nothing for three weeks except sleep, go to work, and play the piano. I didn't even eat much. But every time I was at a quiet point, a time when I was alone (which was mostly all the time), I thought about the things she had said to me.  
  
I should have known what was going to happen. I mean, whenever I looked back on it, it was just so obvious. I wasn't making her happy. She needed more from me. And I denied her this one, little thing. I wish I had known what was going to happen. Had known like I know now.  
  
//I got electric light, And I got second sight//  
  
We had been in my room, she stretched over the bed, reading a book, and I standing in the doorway, watching her. How many days had it been since she had moved in with me? I mused. Well, I guessed that it didn't really matter, but I knew it had been long. I walked toward her, and slid my hand up her back to her shoulders. Her spine arched with my touch, as if she had expected me to do it. She looked over her shoulder and her eyes fell upon me. She smiled, knowing that I realized she expected me to touch her.  
  
"You have been here quite some time," I shook my head, "You know me too well."  
  
"I've been here a week and two days, Seto." She closed her eyes, looking almost sad.  
  
"What?" I teased, "Is it time for our week-and-two-days-anniversary?" She opened her eyes and flipped over onto her back. I braced myself with my knees on the bed so that I was leaning over her.  
  
"No... I just... I've been here for quite some time..." She took careful thought to every word, making sure it came out exactly the way she wanted it to, "I wanted to... ask you something..."  
  
"Sure," I said and placed a kiss on her neck. I rolled over so that I was lying next to her, but she immediately sat up. I watched this intently, knowing that she wanted to be more in control of what was going on and couldn't be unless she was sitting up. I placed my hands behind my head, and waited.  
  
//Got amazing powers of observation//  
  
"Seto, I have to say that all the time I've spent here has been very magical... like a fairy tale... And I wouldn't trade this for anything... But it's always been really hard for me to believe in fairy tales," she laughed a beautiful yet cynical laugh, "I was a bit of a pessimistic child... and I guess I grew into a pessimistic adult... What mean to say is, if you could just answer one question for me... then I might be able to believe in fairy tales..."  
  
"Of course," I said, sitting up as well, "Anything..." I leaned slightly forward and kissed her on the cheek.  
  
"Good," she whispered. I didn't know if she meant for the whisper to be sensual or not... but it was. I ran my eyes up and down her features, and kissed her again. She closed her eyes and I moved from her face to her neck and shoulders. Her nails gripped my arm as I pulled her closer. I was sitting over her, kissing the tips of her fingers when she spoke.  
  
"Seto, do you love me?"  
  
I stopped. Dead in my tracks. Neither of us moved nor spoke for what seemed like years. And she said it again.  
  
"Seto, do you love me?"  
  
I looked at the bed and took in a deep breath, swallowing. Her eyes were still on me but I didn't let mine lock with them. She sat up and shook her head. We sat next to each other, but I faced the wall and she faced the door.  
  
"Alright, Seto... I understand. I'm... just going to go now... I'll see you around..."  
And so I sat for three weeks, listening to the last, true conversation we had. When I was at work, when I was at home, even in my dreams, it haunted me. And, every time, clear as if it were being whispered in my ear, I could hear her say,  
  
"Seto, do you love me?"  
  
Of course I wanted to call her; of course I wished that I could only hear her voice. But I knew what would happen if I did.  
  
//And that is how I know, When I try to get through, On the telephone to you, There'll be nobody home//  
  
I was tired, as I dreamed often and never got much sleep. One particular night, I had the dream about the woman made of fire again. She beckoned, pulling me away from everything that had happened. So warm, against the rain. But this dream ended differently than the previous one. She kissed me, and I opened my eyes. That was when she began to disappear, under my fingertips. She blew into smoke under the cold, hard rain. She smiled at me before she disappeared. And she spoke.  
  
"Alright, Seto... I understand..."  
  
And that was when I froze under the rain, alone, and cold. I woke and left my room quickly.  
  
//I got the obligatory Hendrix perm//  
  
I didn't sleep after that. As a matter of fact, I stopped going to work as well. I dismissed most of my servants until further notice. They all seemed pleased enough. Mostly, I kept to myself, shut up in my room, or alone in the piano room, chain smoking, taking those damn pills, and thinking.  
  
//And the inevitable pinhole burns, All down the front of my favorite satin shirt//  
  
I ran my fingers through my hair again, and listened to her voice in my mind. Telling me the color of it. Then she reached over and began to play with it, running her fingers through it, teasing me by pushing it over my eyes so I couldn't see her. She was kissing me. She was laughing. She was whispering. And then she was gone.  
  
//I got nicotine stains on my fingers. I got a silver spoon on a chain//  
  
I lost my footing and fell to the piano bench, leaning my weight on the keys. It didn't seem to mind. In fact, it failed to notice. So, I stayed where I was and listened to the soft vibration of the keys under my arm.  
  
//Got a grand piano to prop up my mortal remains//  
  
Once silence had been restored I heard rain splatter hard against the window pane, sloshing across it harshly. Lighting struck not to long after, and then I could hear the faint echo of thunder. The lighting hit close and I watched it crack through the sky, splitting it in half. The whole black heavens lit with the crack of lightning, and I watched from inside, wishing I was out there.  
  
// I've got wild, staring eyes. And I got a strong urge to fly//  
  
Was I really seeing the lightning or was it because of the pills? Who knew. When I looked at it, it seemed much different then real lightning. But I just continued to watch. I knew that it was all I was ever meant to do. Watch from afar at something I couldn't have. And every time, it was my own damn fault.  
  
//But I got nowhere to fly to//  
  
Lightning echoed through my brain and I closed my eyes harshly. Everything was getting dark.  
  
//To fly to, To fly to, To fly to, To fly to...//  
  
My head started to get to heavy for me to support it. I meant to lean toward the piano, but instead I fell backwards, and hit my head on the hard wood floor. Smiling, my senses got sharper as my eyes began to close. Overdose hung heavy in the air, and I was cold. I could hear Ishuzu whispering in my ear, only it wasn't a whisper that made me feel guilty. I almost felt... well...  
  
// Ooooo Babe, When I pick up the phone, There's still nobody home//  
  
She was gone, I knew. I closed my eyes as they filled with tears. The room filled with fog and the haze from my tears blinded me. I felt a hard sob fall from my lips as everything else hit me hard. I had loved her. And I still did. I only wished I had answered her, when she had looked at me. I wouldn't have even minded if she had said my name that way she does when she wished she hadn't met me. I just wanted to hear her voice.  
  
// I got a pair of Gohill boots, And I got fading roots.//  
Me: Hope you enjoyed it. Please review. Special thanks to K.J.M. for giving me a lot of the ideas that will pop up in chapters to come... 


	5. Goodbye to You

Me: Lo! I'm not depressed for once but writing this will probably dampen my mood anyway... *sigh* Plus I'm downloading that REALLY sad song from "She's Having A Baby" Anybody seen that?  
  
Seto: MUST you rant?  
  
Me: Fine! Anyway, I haven't done anything with Seto in a while and I thought it'd be a good idea to give Ishuzu her side of the break-up. So, I guess this'll be that chapter! Shoof!  
  
Seto: "Shoof"?  
  
Me: Heh... My favorite Calvin and Hobbes sound effect. When they walk through the leaves in autumn, they make a "shoof, shoof" noise...  
  
Seto: You are such an idiot!  
  
Me: -_-; Now I remember why I stopped writing with and about you...  
  
Seto: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Lets not say things we can't take back!  
  
Me: Grrrr... Fine! But you're the idiot!  
  
Seto: *shrugs* If it pleases you...  
  
Me: Oh, how it does! ^^  
  
Disclaimer: I STILL don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or the song "Goodbye to You" by Michelle Branch... I also didn't own the song in the last chapter, which is called "Nobody Home" and it's by the all-mighty Pink Floyd  
  
*************************************************  
  
Goodbye to You  
  
//Of all the things I believe in  
  
I just want to get it over with//  
  
As I unpacked in my old apartment, I remembered the night Seto had told one of the servants to go back to it and pack everything I told her to. Smiling, I unpacked my clothes in the same order as I had when I had received them at the mansion. I gripped the side of the counter and squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn't cry, not now... I knew I was doing the best thing I ever could have done... And yet, I didn't want to sleep because whenever I closed my eyes I saw his.  
  
//Tears from behind my eyes  
  
But I do not cry  
  
Counting the days that past me by//  
  
After a day or so of sleeping and getting back to normal, I called my brother, who came over quickly. Malik listened as I told him everything that had happened to me... everything except who I had been with. He nodded occasionally, didn't say much, but just to know that someone was listening helped. He also made raspberry smoothies which I love.  
  
"Well, Sis, I really wish you'd tell me who he was..."  
  
"I'd rather not... It would just make things more complicated." After all, Malik already disliked Seto, as most of the world did. He was rich, handsome, and arrogant? What's not to hate?  
  
"I know you won't tell me... because you know if you did, I'd hunt him down and kill him."  
  
"A little dramatic, don't you think?" I smiled but I knew he wasn't lying.  
  
"Well, I guess all I can say is you did the right thing... by leaving him I mean."  
  
I nodded and sipped my smoothie like a well-brought-up young woman. Inside, my heart was breaking at his gentle and loving words.  
  
//I've been searching deep down in my soul  
  
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old//  
  
Foolishly, I'd thought that maybe it could have worked out. Maybe the great Seto Kaiba could really be a decent human being, maybe even gentle, maybe even warm. But it had been so hard for him to just say three simple words...  
  
But that was okay. It wasn't like I'd never had a failed relationship before. I'd been in too many of those to count. My heart was jaded but he'd veiled my knowing eyes with fairytales. Damn him...  
  
//Looks like I'm starting all over again  
  
The last three years were just pretend//  
  
His eyes had been so much like a child's when I'd left him. He'd looked at me, trying to be dignified, but said nothing, because he knew I could see through him. Holding his hands behind his back, and his jaw square, he'd been transparent as tissue paper. I couldn't bear to look into such young and innocent eyes... Maybe he did love me, but I would never know because he was too much of a coward to say it. And so, I'd kissed him softly, stepped out the door, and walked away, never looking back.  
  
//Goodbye to you  
  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew//  
  
I'd known that I'd loved him, and probably always would. I liked to believe, on some days when I'd sit on my balcony and watch the sun rise, that I'd find someone new and never think of Seto again. Of course I knew that this could never be true. My heart was like an ocean, filled with memories and souls of those swept out to sea.  
  
//You were the one I loved  
  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to//  
  
I remembered a split second, when I had been all alone in my darkened room, that I thought I would never get over him... I could never know if it was true or not because the thought was fleeting and I pushed it away as soon as I possibly could. This had happened to me before, for one reason or another, and I'd gotten over all the other men in my past. Why not Seto? Because he was different.  
  
//I still get lost in your eyes  
  
And it seems like I can't live a day without you//  
  
At night, I still hated to close my eyes because when I did, it was fair game in the war against my heart. I could see his ice-blue eyes, feel his fingers like feathers on my neck, hear his voice whispering something in my ear. Retaliating, I always told myself that no matter what he whispered, it would never be "I love you".  
  
//Closing my eyes till you chase my thoughts away  
  
To a place where I am blinded by the light but it's not right//  
  
I started going back to the museum, where I told my boss I'd suddenly had to go back to Egypt when a relative of mine passed on. She had always been very kind and she comforted me, allowing me to begin work as soon as I was ready. I assured her that I was, and I began to pick up the pieces of the life he'd so expertly shattered.  
  
//Goodbye to you  
  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
  
You were the one I loved  
  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to//  
  
I contemplated getting my hair cut, as is kind of a taboo custom when you break up. Touching the ends of my long, raven hair, I sighed, remembering how he always used to run his fingers through it, telling me how beautiful I was... I grimaced as if in pain and left the hair salon.  
  
//It hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time  
  
I want what's yours and I want what's mine//  
  
Sometimes, more than anything, I wanted to go back. To throw my arms around his neck, and tell him that I didn't care if he loved me or not, that I'd stay with him forever if he wanted me to. I wanted to tell him that it had all been my fault and even though I loved him, and even though he knew it, I'd never said it out loud either, so we were even. And he'd throw his head back in a sexy, triumphant laugh and lift me up off the ground. And we'd kiss and--- And then I'd remember that I was the pessimistic goddess, Ishuzu, and I knew this kind of love was pointless, hopeless, and killing me slowly.  
  
//I want you but I'm not giving in this time//  
  
One night, I sighed and flopped on the couch to watch television. The channels all blurred together and everything seemed like one action movie after another. The second time I flipped through, every channel had a dysfunctional romance, and if not dysfunctional, ending in heartbreak. "Harold and Maude", "An Affair to Remember", "Gone With the Wind", "Casablanca"... I shut off the TV and shivered in disgust.  
  
//Goodbye to you  
  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
  
You were the one I loved  
  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to//  
  
I went to the kitchen and looked at the clock. My vision was blurred and it was late. I reached into the fridge and pulled out a small container of ice cream. When I went to place it on the counter, I could see that my hand was shaking. I couldn't begin to explain the feeling, but I new that it couldn't have been all his fault. Maybe the blame rested solely on my shoulders. I had never been able to have a successful relationship though I'd tried many times and all of them had sunk in the vast ocean that was my heart. Looking in the small kitchen mirror, I saw only myself staring back and I knew that I deserved someone who would tell me they loved me, and yet I'd never get it. I was destined, condemned to stand alone. I'd always been alone, it wasn't really anything new. I'd just at least tried to hold onto the silly notion that one day I'd belong in someone's arms, and they'd belong in mine. But I was wrong. I was alone, he'd never say what I longed to hear, and dreams didn't come true. And there, standing in my tiny kitchen, I could finally let myself cry.  
  
//When the stars fall and I lie awake  
  
Your my shooting star//  
  
*************************************************  
  
Me: Kind of short, sorry, but people keep telling me to update this. In case you were wondering, I've been working on "Reminds Me of Strawberries" and "Such as Life" lately, so if there are any other stories you wish for me to update, tell me, because I think I might finally have time.  
  
Seto: Less talk, more reviews.  
  
Me: The controlling muse... Thank you for reading. Please review. 


End file.
